Why Loneliness in Motherhood Is More Common Than You Think

Before becoming a mum, I don’t think anyone really warned me about the loneliness.

People talk about sleepless nights, nappies, feeding schedules, and the cost of having children. However, very few people talk about what happens socially.

Suddenly, your life changes overnight.

The friends you grew up with are often starting different chapters of their lives. Some are heading to university, building careers, travelling, or simply enjoying a freedom that no longer exists in the same way for you.

You still care about each other, and you still catch up when you can. Nevertheless, life starts pulling you in different directions.

For me, the early days of motherhood were incredibly lonely at times.

Before school runs, before playgroups became part of our routine, and before I built a network of other mums around me, there were long days spent at home wondering if anyone else felt the same way.

Thankfully, I was lucky enough to meet a wonderful friend while attending college.

We were the same age, both pregnant, and navigating motherhood together.

What started as friendship quickly became something much more valuable.

We spent countless hours together with our little girls, sharing the highs, the struggles, the laughter, and the exhaustion that comes with raising children.

A few years later, we both welcomed our next babies just weeks apart.

Looking back now, I realise how important that friendship was.

Because there is a difference between school friends and mum friends.

Neither is better than the other.

They’re simply different.

Some people are the right fit for a particular season of your life.

Your mum friends understand why you’ve cancelled plans because nobody slept last night.

They understand why you’re turning up with baby sick on your shoulder and cold coffee in your hand.

They understand the worries, the milestones, the school runs, and the overwhelming love that comes with being a parent.

Most importantly, they remind you that you’re not doing this alone.

If motherhood feels lonely right now, please know that it won’t always feel this way.

The friendships may not have arrived yet.

You may not have found your people yet.

However, they are out there.

Sometimes they’re sitting next to you at baby group.

Sometimes they’re standing beside you at school pick-up.

Sometimes they’re the person you strike up a conversation with while your little ones play together.

Motherhood has a wonderful way of bringing people together.

And while some friendships last a season, others stay with us for a lifetime.

So if you’re feeling lonely today, be kind to yourself.

You are not the only one feeling this way.

And you are certainly not alone.

🤍

Many mums also experience anxiety during the early months of motherhood.